“spend eternity directly above marilyn monroe” or otherwise above the hollywood sex symbol, reads the ad placed on ebay. bidding opened at $500,000 just a one-up on hugh hefner who had bought the spot “next to” monroe in 1992. the seller will be “vacating” the remains of her husband “to make room for a new resident” at LA’s exclusive westwood village cemetery (housing what remains of dean martin, roy orbison, and truman capote), this also happens to be the place where the memorial services for my father were held – of course, with eric satie, playing in the background.

now why would you say, a widow in beverly hills, would move the remains of her ex-husband? well she hoped to make enough money to pay off the $1.6m mortgage on her mansion. “I can’t be more honest than that,” she said. “I want to leave it free and clear for my kids.”ok the last bit seems fair, but her own husband was placed face down in his crypt on top of the actress, in keeping with his dying wish… now hes gonna be one pissed-off corpse!

the seller, elsie poncher, says her husband’s remains will be moved over “one spot” into the crypt intended for her (now probably next to hefners), while she will be cremated when the time comes… I suppose Mr. poncher made the eternal mistake by facing monroe below instead of his wife, who was left, and was to be buried to the left… perhaps he got what he deserved after all. by uh