our galaxy, the milky way, and andromeda (a small fuzzy object that was first seen by ancient astronomers more than one thousand years ago) have been on a collision course since their birth. it has long been known that the two galaxies have been heading in the general direction of each other, but not until weeks ago did we know that they are converging at something like 250,000 mph. the new hubble telescope data provides detail of when and how a union is likely to unfold.

viewed from earth, the night sky should look fairly spectacular when they collide. that is assuming, of course, that a human species is still around billions of years into the future to look upwards at the fireworks. nasa however has speculated based on the hubble data-feed that jesus will most probably resurface prior to such collision to insure prime seats for the believers.

the two galaxies are being pulled together by their mutual gravity and the scientists expect them to begin to merge in about four billion years’ time (so don’t go selling your shit yet). our sun’s position will be disturbed, but the star and its planets are in little danger of being destroyed, just shuffled around. this will surely effect the real estate market in new york.

dr. van der marel (no data is provided on him but lets trust him since hes a dr.) told reporters “due to the natural evolution of the sun, it will get slightly hotter over time and a few billion years from now it will have got sufficiently hot to make life on earth as we know it impossible… but since we are talking billions of years into the future, i personally do not think that means our civilization will not be there. for example, if we find a smart way to use solar energy and turn it into air conditioning, we may still be able to live on this planet.” now that’s a start! by dd